PART 2: Things NOT to do in marketing — observance days

Stop sending the opt-out email. You're already too late. Part 2 of our Things NOT to do in marketing series

Every year, like clockwork, it lands in your inbox.

"We know this time of year can be difficult. If you'd rather not receive our upcoming Mother's Day emails, click here to opt out."

And the brand that sends it feels good about themselves. Considered. Thoughtful, even.

Here's the problem: it isn't.

The reminder is the harm.

That email — the one trying to protect people — has already done the damage before anyone clicks anything. You've just told someone who has lost their mum, who is struggling with infertility, who is grieving, who is estranged from their family, that Mother's Day is on its way. The thing you were trying to shield them from, you've just announced.

Clicking opt-out doesn't undo that.

It's also too late practically speaking. Most people don't check their email the moment it arrives. The opt-out email lands. They see it three days later. By which point your first campaign has already hit their inbox. The whole exercise has become a box-tick rather than a genuine act of care — and customers, who are sharper than most brands give them credit for, know the difference.

It was a good idea once.

The first brand to really do this well — and get people talking about it — was Bloom & Wild. They made headlines for it. It felt genuinely considered, genuinely human. That was over a decade ago.

And yet here we are in 2026, and the standard observance day opt-out email hasn't moved on at all. Now it's a template. Copied from another brand, who copied it from someone else. Nobody stopped to ask if it actually works.

It doesn't.

So what should you do instead?

Ask at the point of sign-up. Not the week before the campaign goes out.

When someone joins your email list, your welcome flow or preference centre should include a simple question: "Are there occasions you'd prefer not to hear from us about?" Give them options. Mother's Day. Father's Day. Valentine's Day. Christmas. Baby content. Let them choose what applies to them, rather than making them self-identify as someone who is suffering.

This isn't complicated to build. Most ESPs support custom fields and suppression lists. It's not a technical problem. It's a prioritisation one.

The practical bit.

→ Ask at sign-up, not in a panic the week before your campaign goes out

→ Give specific options — not a vague opt-out. List the occasions.

→ Build a suppression segment per occasion and actually use it. Anyone who opts out gets excluded from the campaign, the reminder email, and every follow-up in that sequence. Not just the main send.

→ Stop sending the opt-out email entirely. If your preference capture is working properly at sign-up, you don't need it. The people who needed to opt out already have.

→ Revisit preferences at re-engagement. Life changes. Grief isn't static. Your data shouldn't be either.

→ Think beyond the obvious occasions. Mother's Day and Father's Day are the ones brands remember. But what about pregnancy announcements? New baby campaigns? Content that assumes everyone has a partner on Valentine's Day? Audit your full calendar — not just the easy ones.

→ Make preferences easy to update at any time. The unsubscribe link at the bottom of every email is a last resort. If people can't easily update what they receive, they'll unsubscribe entirely — and you've lost them.

The bigger picture.

This isn't just about being kind — though it is that too.

The brands winning the next decade of marketing are the ones treating customer data as a relationship asset, not a broadcast list. Preference capture isn't charity. It's retention strategy. Customers who feel genuinely seen at the point of sign-up stay subscribed longer, open more, and trust more.

The opt-out email was a good idea when Bloom & Wild first did it. But good ideas have a shelf life when the execution doesn't evolve.

Do the work upfront. Your customers will notice.

This is Part 2 of our Things NOT to do in marketing series. Follow @thedoersuk on Instagram to keep up with the series.